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Fireproof Your Marriage: The Love Dare (Days 21-40)
  • April 29, 2016

Sorry I’ve been M.I.A. but I have been recovering from some recent repairs….long story! Stay tuned for May 6th post!!!

Well, we have some catching up to do! Since my last post on the Love Dare challenge, hubby and I reconciled after a PMs explosion and are on good terms until next time! 🙂

So…. ahem…

 

Day 21: Love is satisfied in God

The Dare: Be intentional today about making a time to pray and read your Bible….as you do, immerse yourself in the love and promises God has for you.  This will add to your growth as you walk with Him.

 

Day 22: Love is faithful

The Dare: Choose today to be committed to love even if your spouse has lost most of their interest in receiving it. Say to them today in words similar to these, “I love you.  Period. I choose to love you even if you don’t love me in return.”

 

Day 23: Love always protects

The Dare: Remove anything that is hindering your relationship, any addiction or influence that’s stealing your affections or turning your heart away from your spouse.

 

Day 24: Love vs. lust

The Dare: End it now. Remove every object of lust in your life … it must be killed and destroyed – today – and replaced with the sure promise of God and a heart filled with his perfect love.

 

Day 25: Love forgives

The Dare: Whatever you haven’t forgiven in your mate, forgive it today. Let it go… unforgiveness has been keeping you and your spouse in prison too long. Say from your heart, “I choose to forgive.”

 

Day 26: Love is responsible

The Dare: Take time to pray through your areas of wrongdoing. Ask for God’s forgiveness, then humble yourself to admit them to your spouse.

 

Day 27: Love encourages

The Dare: Eliminate the poison of unrealistic expectations in your home. Think of one area where your spouse has told you you’re expecting too much, and tell them you’re sorry for being so hard on them about it … promise them you’ll seek to understand, and assure them of your unconditional love.

 

Day 28: Love makes sacrifices

The Dare: What is one of the greatest needs in your spouse’s life right now? Purpose to do what you can to meet the need.

 

Day 29: Love’s motivation

The Dare: Before seeing your spouse again today, pray for them by name and for their needs. Whether it comes easy for you, say “I love you” then express love to them in some tangible way. Then thank God for giving you the privilege of loving this one special person unconditionally.

 

Day 30: Love brings unity

The Dare: Isolate one area of division in your marriage, and look on today as a fresh opportunity to pray about it. Ask the Lord to reveal anything in your own heart that is threatening oneness with your spouse. Pray that he will do the same for them.

 

Day 31: Love and marriage

The Dare: If there is an issue about the biblical command to “leave” your parents, confess it to your spouse and resolve to make it right. Follow this with a commitment to your spouse and to God to make your marriage your priority over any other human relationship.

 

Day 32: Love meets sexual needs

The Dare: Initiate sex with your spouse today. Do it in a way that honors what your spouse needs from you. Ask God to make this enjoyable for both of you.

 

Day 33: Love completes each other

The Dare: Recognize that your spouse is integral to your future success. Let them know today you desire them to be included in your upcoming decisions and that you need their perspective and counsel. If you’ve ignored their input in the past, admit your oversight and ask for forgiveness.

 

Day 34: Love celebrates godliness

The Dare: Find a recent example when your spouse demonstrated Christian character in a noticeable way, and verbally commend them for this.

 

Day 35: Love is accountable

The Dare: Find a marriage mentor—someone who is a strong Christian and who will be honest and loving with you. If you feel counseling is needed, make the appointment.

 

Day 36: Love is God’s Word

The Dare: Commit to reading the Bible every day…If your spouse is willing, see if they will commit to daily Bible reading with you. Begin submitting each area of your life to its guidance and start building on the rock.

 

Day 37: Love agrees in prayer

The Dare: Ask your spouse if you can begin praying together.

 

Day 38: Love fulfills dreams

The Dare: Ask yourself what your mate would want if it was obtainable. Commit this to prayer, and start mapping out a plan for meeting some (if not all) of their desires, to whatever level you possibly can.

 

Day 39: Love endures

The Dare: Spend some time in personal prayer, then write a letter of commitment and resolve to your spouse. Include why you are committing to this marriage until death, and that you have purposed to love them no matter what.

 

Day 40: Love is a covenant

The Dare: Write out a renewal of your vows and place them in your home. If appropriate, you can make arrangements to formally renew your wedding vows before a minister and with family present. Make it a living testament to the value of marriage in God’s eyes and the high honor of being one with your mate.

 

The last days of this challenge focused on intimacy, not only physically but spiritually as well. When you invite Jesus into your marriage, something miraculous happens…. You’ll find joy, peace and confidence in your relationship. Knowing God and His order will help you know just how much each other’s role is in the marriage. When you know your role, you can focus on your strengths and together can work out the fine details into making your Godly marriage work for you. God’s Word is the structure/foundation to a honorable marriage. Trust His Word and live it out daily and watch the Lord do the rest. God wants to use us to prove His Word when it says “what God joins together, let no man put usunder.”

Fireproof Your Marriage: The Love Dare (Days 13-20)
  • April 11, 2016

Back to our regularly schedule posts! Last week was my 30th birthday and I just had to share the 30 things I’ve learned…but this week I am back to the 40 day Love Dare Challenge!

This week, I will recap Days 13 through 20. Now I have to admit, my Crimson friend arrived and she had my emotions all over the place! My husband caught the backend to it and I have been apologizing to him since Saturday!! But, let’s see what we SHOULD have learned this past week!

 

Day 13: Love fights fair

The Dare: Talk with your spouse about establishing healthy rules of engagement….resolve to abide by them when the next disagreement occurs.

Obviously, Day 13 was a complete fail this week! I am learning to deal rationally while my Crimson friend is in town. I’ve been doing better but there is always room for improvement.

Day 14: Love takes delight

The Dare: Purposely neglect an activity you would normally do so you can spend quality time with your spouse. Do something he or she would love to do or a project they’d really like to work on. Just be together.

This is actually funny to me because after our little spat, I’ve been trying to become more delightful and graceful to my husband. I blame Eve!!

Day 15: Love is honorable

The Dare: Choose a way to honor and respect your spouse that is above your normal routine…show your spouse that he or she is highly esteemed in your eyes.

A nice foot rub can put a smile on anyone’s face and doing so without your spouse asking is both surprising and honorable (especially after a fight!) Obviously, I’ve been rubbing feet all week!!

Day 16: Love intercedes

The Dare: Begin praying today for your spouse’s heart.

I pray for my husband daily..even multiple times a day. Working outside of the home can be stressful for your spouse so go before God for them, it means more than you think!

Day 17: Love promotes intimacy

The Dare: Determine to guard your mate’s secrets (unless they are dangerous to them or to you) and to pray for them. Talk with your spouse and resolve to demonstrate love in spite of these issues. Really listen to them when they share personal thoughts and struggles with you. Make them feel safe.

Intimacy is way more than sex. Intimacy is how you guard your husband’s heart and emotions. I’ve learned that even though my husband can be thick-skinned, he longs to be heard and feel wanted. Intimacy begins with a positive morning (for you non-morning people) and throughout the day!

Day 18: Love seeks to understand

The Dare: Prepare a special dinner at home, just for the two of you. The dinner can be as nice as you prefer. Focus this time on getting to know your spouse better, perhaps in areas you’ve rarely talked about. Determine to make it an enjoyable evening for you and your mate.

Everyday I learn something new about my husband. Whether we want to admit it, we change quite often. Our standards indeed remain the same, but we may go about it a different way. communicating these differences and emotions matters in a marriage. I’m still learning to include my husband in my deepest thoughts even if its not that deep to him or vice versa!

Day 19: Love is impossible

The Dare: Look back over the dares from previous days. Were there some that seemed impossible to you? Have you realized your need for God to change your heart and to give you the ability to love? Ask him to show you where you stand with him, and ask for the strength and grace to settle your eternal destination.

 

Day 20: Love is Jesus Christ

The Dare: Dare to take God at his word. Dare to trust Jesus Christ for salvation. Dare to pray, “Lord Jesus, I am a sinner. But you have shown your love for me by dying to forgive my sins, and you have proven your power to save me from death by your resurrection. Lord, change my heart, and save me by your grace.”

 

Wow!! Day 20 gives us the opportunity to get it right…do our first works over. Learning the source and example of true intimacy and relationship gives us all a foundation in our marriage. Have you repented for your shortcomings? As Paul states, we must die daily!

 

Ok people!! 20 days remain in the challenge!! Let’s do this!!

 

Fireproof Challenge: The Love Dare (Days 1- 5)
  • March 25, 2016

It’s Spring!!! Flowers are blooming…Earth is awaken and refreshed!! So.. this is the perfect opportunity to awaken and revive our marriages! With so many diseased relationships, it is time to remedy them with a interactive challenge. The Love Dare Challenge!! Now, we can discuss all the mess we see in social media concerning marriages, but why spend our focus and time on the obvious and make that time useful in building marriages?!?

 

If you are not familiar with the Love Dare, well, it was made popular by a Christian movie called, Fireproof.

In the movie FIREPROOF, The Love Dare covers the topics of relationship parasites (addictions like pornography and gambling) and unconditional love. The Love Dare devotional book expands and extends the topics addressed in the film’s plot to include such vital issues as:

  • Why Marriage? Explore the blessings and challenges of godly marriage.
  • Contract or Covenant? Examine the difference between the world’s design for marriage and God’s original intention.
  • Clean Fighting. Learn how to fight the fires of conflict effectively and respectfully.
  • Leading Your Heart, Instead of Vice Versa. Practice choosing love when it isn’t your instinctive response.

(Click HERE to purchase the book)

 

This week (Monday through Friday) the focus was as follows:

Day 1-  do not say anything negative to your spouse. Great or small. We tend to nag or complain without thought and much of the time, it is miserable to always assume that all your spouse do is speak or think negative about everything. Replace your nagging with compliments….

 

Day 2-  Do an unexpected gesture of kindness. Letting your spouse know you care in the smallest way..whether it’d be washing the car, ironing their clothes or even a note in their lunch will go a long way. I know from experience my husband loves to have me visit him for lunch at his job. It brightens his day!

 

Day 3-  Buy something for your spouse. From a greeting card to a box of chocolate or if you’re fancy, an outfit from his/her favorite store!

 

Day 4- Contact your spouse during the day to check on them. I love to call my husband throughout the day. If you use discernment, you will know when to call them when they need it the most.

 

Day 5- Now this is where it gets a bit hands on…..Ask your spouse to tell you three things that cause him or her to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. You must do so without attacking them. Can you do it?!?! After much conversation and care, this will become second nature to just communicate!

 

I’m taking the challenge. Not to say my marriage is in turmoil, it is to say I care and want more out of my relationship… a revival. Same with having a relationship with God, there is always room to grow and know more about the Father. He has so much to reveal to us if we would only commune with Him…God created relationships AKA marriages and they are a reflection ( or should be) of our relationship/intimacy with Him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Material taken from The Love Dare by Stephen and Alex Kendrick, copyright © 2009 by B&H Publishing Group.