Loving Intentionally: Real Marriage Goals

It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.- Friedrich Nietzsche

As many of you know, I’ve been married since the age of 19! My husband and I have 5 beautiful and talented children and many farm animals! 🙂 We’re business owners, church-goers and volunteers and much more. So when do we have the time to celebrate us or to just gaze into each other’s eyes? Hardly ever! That must definitely change in 2019!

Last year, we’ve stepped out and embarked on out of the box ventures and businesses. This year, we are focusing on doing less with good intentions and excellence. With this new found time on rebranding and saying no to a lot of opportunities and events, hubby and I  are deciding to invest in each other. Now, please understand, we are always working and brainstorming ideas together on a daily basis, but we want to build each other outside of business. It is easy to become consumed with the “what to do” and not focus on the “who are we”. I want to know my husband more outside of work. It’s the same with spiritual relationships. We want to experience the splendor of God and not necessarily the things He can do for us. We all know that God is able to do, but to experience I Am, is a totally different experience. The seeking His Face and not His Hand type of relationship. That is what is needed for every relationship, especially those ordained by God, such as marriage. 

When it comes to marriage goals, this is what we look for:

  1. Intentional Dating even if it means forcing yourselves to do it even when it feels inconvenient. There is always a feeling of ” we could’ve gotten so much done today” but your marriage is sure to last way longer than a business venture. Focusing on each other is mandatory. This culture has programmed us to “Do You” and it’s not healthy for a marriage. Marriage is about oneness and intimacy. Having date nights allows you to dive into conversation with your spouse. Put the phone on silent on date nights. It is rude to open up Facebook or emails while engaging in your spouse.
  2. Laughter in marriage. If you know us, you’ll know, we laugh a lot! I always enjoy goofing around with my husband. Everything doesn’t have to be serious all the time. Live a little and enjoy each other’s company. Luckily for us, Ray and I have the same sense of humor so finding things that make us laugh is quite easy. We can watch The Office all day!!
  3. Intimacy with the Lord in marriage. Praying and spending time in the Word and conversation is crucial in a Godly marriage. Assuring that your foundation is secured is the number one defense in battling the enemy. Knowing your Source outsources everything you think you’ve accomplished or deserved is so reassuring.  God favors marriages but you must be willing to give it over to Him. I can attest that God has spoken on our behalf countless times and many things you think would affect us, (finances, lack of intimacy, communication, etc.) couldn’t. And that is solely on the premises that God is the Head of our marriage.

 

 

Prayer:

Lord, teach us to value our time and our relationship with our spouse. The more time spent seeking You and fulfilling each other the better. I pray that marriages with You as the Foundation, be a testament to others and reflect Your goodness and favor. May Your great love be revealed and displayed in our love and relationship with each other.

In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

About the author: Antoinette Burns

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