The End by Tracie McClinton

  • May 29, 2012

The last day of school, the last day of vacation, the last slice of pie, the last child…all great things must come to an end. The day I finally had to face the truth that I have given birth for the last time was a day full of strange emotions for me. No more diapers, bottles, sleepless nights and potty training. I should have been celebrating and doing some sort of obnoxious dance of joy and screaming “Freedom!” But two years ago when my son reached the age of 5, I found myself longing for diapers, bottles, sleepless nights and potty training! I was sad that my bouncing baby boy was now a bouncing big boy who was getting bigger by the day. With each milestone I verbalized “this is my last time experiencing this as a mother”. 

My boy, Brian, who I simply call The Boy, came into our lives as a plan and a surprise all in one. After many years of back and forth indecision, we finally decided to have “just one more”. So we prepared ourselves and agreed that this was it. I had no idea that this decision would be so difficult. The logical side of me knew it was the right decision for our family. After all, I was 37 and my husband was 42. We had a 10 year old and my husband’s oldest child was 17. But the mother in me was not ready for this to be IT. The Boy brought a special kind of joy into our household and brought something into our lives that we didn’t know we needed. This baby fixed something that we didn’t know was broken. I wanted to experience this joy over and over again. But then, I remembered that this is IT. 


Tracie McClinton
Now my boy is preparing to enter second grade. He is becoming more independent, losing teeth, liking girls and changing right before my eyes. He recently informed me that he was too old for Yo Gabba Gabba, Calliou and Sesame Street. This announcement hit me so hard and sent me into a week of gazing at baby pictures, touching baby clothes at the mall and sniffing packages of Pampers at Target.

It’s time to move on. Motherhood has exciting things still in store for me. The teenager will be in college next year. My husband and I are preparing for new and exciting things and my boy is still my boy.

This is it….the end. All great things must come to an end. (Insert HUGE SIGH right here). I am done having children. That’s all there is and there isn’t any more.